This can be a really hard pill to swallow. There is enough happiness to go around, but sometimes we can find ourselves feeling envious and even resentful of others success. I am here to tell you, stop it!! Just stop. Have you ever been in a room where someone was given a compliment and you think to yourself, “What about me?” or have you been looking at others success or happiness and feel a tinge of envy that things aren’t going that well for you at the moment? I have. I’ve certainly been there and will be the first to tell you that this way of thinking only sends you down a negative spiral that you could end up living in if you don’t become self-aware of it.
How? How can we just simply be happy for others especially during those times when you may be going through stuff or feel stressed & busy in your own life?
Grace. Not only do you need to give others grace and show up for them, but you have to give yourself grace. Don’t compare your life to those around you. You must work from within to improve your mindset and your surroundings. Choosing grace and joy will always win, but you do have to choose it first. It is soooooo much easier at times to say things like poor me or why does it have to be like this for me. But here comes some tough love. It’s you. Get out of your own way are start showing up for others. Showing up for others means being truly happy for them, reveling in their success right there with them, and being genuinely excited and interested in their happiness. Your happiness and success truly depend on it.
Have you ever seen a person that just radiates happiness and love when they walk into a room? They didn’t get that way from tearing others down or avoiding people that were happy and successful. Like vibes attract like vibes. If you want to radiate this type of happiness and love, go seek out others that radiate this. Find a tribe of people that lift each other up and cheer each other on. Find a group of people that don’t allow you to wallow in negativity for too long. Find those friends/family members or mentors that allow you to fall down, but are right there with you picking you up and helping you to get back to the ultimate happiness you deserve.
If you are that person that finds it hard to be happy for others, do an experiment with yourself.
5 simple steps to start radiating happiness in yourself and for others:
- Recognize the jealousy or envy when it shows up. But don’t give it power. Turn it into inspiration.
- Find phrases like, “That’s so inspirational.” or “I am happy for them.”
- Do NOT compare. This is toxic. Everyone’s path in life is different.
- Compliment others often. This will not only impact others, but you’ll start to believe these things about yourself too.
- Don’t allow outside circumstances to dictate your happiness. The second you give things or others power over your own happiness is the second that you might get stuck in that negativity cycle.
Trust me. This is hard sometimes. I have a funny story from when my sister and I worked together at a restaurant many moons ago. Our boss was talking to me about how great she was doing at her job and what an awesome employee she was becoming. I replied, “What about me?” You can see how selfish and narcissistic I sounded. He of course, like a good boss, very calmly said, “It doesn’t always have to be about you.” This was the reality check that I needed. As a young person that thought the world revolved around me, it took that subtle slap in the face to realize that I should have been proud of my sister and shown her gratitude for what an awesome job she was doing. That was the first of many lessons where I learned that when others succeed, you succeed. I am still thankful for that boss of mine to this day that humbled me and taught me a valuable lesson about myself.
Nowadays, when I see others succeeding, especially my family and friends, I am their biggest hype girl! I feed off of it. I crave their success and happiness because I know what that means. JOY. It is truly a joy to watch them succeed because of my love for them and my habits of unselfish support that I have been learning to nurture over the past decade or so. It’s not a perfect road and I am human, but I try to practice these 5 steps and behaviors daily. So here’s to happiness and success for ALL!